So, the comedy genius that is Mundo Jazz came up with a good version of those all-too-irritating "round robins" some of us still seem to receive at this time of year (some people cannot take a goddamn hint!)
Hello! So fond of you are we that we couldn't be arsed to just write “Happy Christmas” on a piece of overpriced bogroll insert so instead here's a shitload of overpersonal but ironically impersonal info you didn't fucking want.
First up, our snotty kids. You'll remember there's the arsy one and the whiny one. Ladies first! {INSERT NAME OF GREEK GODDESS} is doing simply wonderfully with her beloved friends {INSERT ITALIAN, SPANISH AND FRENCH NAMES} and is especially fond of {INSERT NAME OF SOUTHERN CONTINENT}. Her teacher Mrs {INSERT NAME OF NORTHERN ENGLISH TOWN}says she is frightfully advanced for her age. When she grows up she says she wants to be a ballerina or a social worker! Like mummy like daughter!
Meanwhile little {INSERT NEWLY POPULAR GRANDAD-STYLE BOYS NAME} is having a super time playing La Crosse at school and is getting better with his problem {INSERT BODILY SECRETION} in his {INSERT LOCATION, BE ACCURATE FOR PURPOSES OF LIFELONG TEASING}
Gary {INSERT YOUR PARTNER'S NAME. BUT IT'S PROBABLY ACTUALLY GARY} has been in the wars as you know with his {INSERT NAME OF GENITO-URINARY EMBARASSMENT YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY TELL ANYONE ABOUT EVEN IF THEY WERE THREATENING TO GRATE YOUR CHILDREN OVER PASTA} but is getting better with the help of the wonderful staff at {INSERT NAME OF QUIET, WOODY HOSPITAL WHERE THEY DON”T EVEN SMOKE OUTSIDE THE MATERNITY WARD}
Love, Peace and {INSERT DALAI LAMA QUOTE}
{INSERT YOUR NAMES AND THOSE OF ALL YOUR PETS. AND A PLANT}
Seriously, though... Merry Christmas X
Hello! So fond of you are we that we couldn't be arsed to just write “Happy Christmas” on a piece of overpriced bogroll insert so instead here's a shitload of overpersonal but ironically impersonal info you didn't fucking want.
First up, our snotty kids. You'll remember there's the arsy one and the whiny one. Ladies first! {INSERT NAME OF GREEK GODDESS} is doing simply wonderfully with her beloved friends {INSERT ITALIAN, SPANISH AND FRENCH NAMES} and is especially fond of {INSERT NAME OF SOUTHERN CONTINENT}. Her teacher Mrs {INSERT NAME OF NORTHERN ENGLISH TOWN}says she is frightfully advanced for her age. When she grows up she says she wants to be a ballerina or a social worker! Like mummy like daughter!
Meanwhile little {INSERT NEWLY POPULAR GRANDAD-STYLE BOYS NAME} is having a super time playing La Crosse at school and is getting better with his problem {INSERT BODILY SECRETION} in his {INSERT LOCATION, BE ACCURATE FOR PURPOSES OF LIFELONG TEASING}
Gary {INSERT YOUR PARTNER'S NAME. BUT IT'S PROBABLY ACTUALLY GARY} has been in the wars as you know with his {INSERT NAME OF GENITO-URINARY EMBARASSMENT YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY TELL ANYONE ABOUT EVEN IF THEY WERE THREATENING TO GRATE YOUR CHILDREN OVER PASTA} but is getting better with the help of the wonderful staff at {INSERT NAME OF QUIET, WOODY HOSPITAL WHERE THEY DON”T EVEN SMOKE OUTSIDE THE MATERNITY WARD}
Love, Peace and {INSERT DALAI LAMA QUOTE}
{INSERT YOUR NAMES AND THOSE OF ALL YOUR PETS. AND A PLANT}
Seriously, though... Merry Christmas X
